


Nothing Left to Lose

by igrockspock



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-28
Updated: 2009-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-05 09:28:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/igrockspock/pseuds/igrockspock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock waits exactly 12.2 seconds before refusing the Vulcan Science Academy's offer of admission.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing Left to Lose

Spock waits exactly 12.2 seconds before refusing the Vulcan Science Academy's offer of admission. Making his choice takes 1.2 of those seconds. Recognizing that it conflicts with logic requires 5.4. _Logic,_ he thinks, _clearly dictates that when given the choice between two disadvantageous situations, the least disadvantageous is the most desirable. _Between Starfleet and the Vulcan Science Academy, it is obvious which offers the fewest disadvantages. The Science Academy offers greater opportunities for intellectual expansion. Opportunities for space exploration will initially be limited but will be available with further advancement, most likely with greater flexibility than afforded by Starfleet. Furthermore, attending the Science Academy will preserve harmony within the family unit, while joining Starfleet will disrupt it. In fact, the Science Academy has only one drawback: their belief that human ancestry is a disadvantage. This belief could quickly be disproven, therefore the disadvantage is minimal. In light of this evaluation, accepting admission to the Vulcan Science Academy is the more logical, and therefore, better decision.

In 2.5 seconds, he concludes that he does not care what logic dictates, and he waits an additional 3.1 seconds to insure that his voice betrays no sign of the anger he cannot quite suppress. When he says, "then I must decline," what he really means is "fuck you."

After rendering his decision, he leaves the Science Academy as quickly as possible; he knows he must explain his decision to his father, and etiquette demands he do so immediately. That does not stop him from spending 13.4 minutes contemplating his decision in a sanitary cubicle one floor beneath his father's office, cataloging the things he has lost: academic opportunities he has sought since boyhood, his father's respect (also sought since boyhood), his fellow Vulcans' belief in his own Vulcan-ness, and with it, his tenuous claim to his father's homeworld as his own.

But, no matter how it will appear to his father, he has not lost everything. He still has himself. This is the thought that propels him out of the bathroom and into his father's office, where he knows exactly what he will do: calmly state his decision, and take his leave of Sarek. Whatever his ancestry, he is a Vulcan. His devotion to logic and control are impeccable. For anyone to suggest or believe otherwise is an act of prejudice against him and hypocrisy against the creed of infinite diversity in infinite combination. Prejudice and hypocrisy are illogical, and it is no more logical to accept them from his father than from the Vulcan Science Academy.

He says as much to his father, and he knows it is true. But his logic, while sound, is merely justification for an emotional decision in defense of the one other thing that he has not lost, can never lose, and will never regard as a disadvantage: his mother's love.


End file.
